Oh Sweet Closure

Here I am, finally got WordPress for Blackberry installed on this phone, feeling good (for lack of a better phrase). I’m not a supporter of BlackBerry: I’m a Nokia fan but circumstances have led to me being in possession of a BB so I might as well run with it. Anyway, I’m feeling good because I have finally been told why I was treated with disrespect and in the words of Vivian Green: “Disregard for me and my feelings”

I finally got through to this boy and after some confusion of sorts, he told me why things went the way that they did. It was a result of immaturity. I was just glad to know why I suffered the sadness that I did. He told me that he’s sorry and he asked if I didn’t want to slap him. I really don’t.

The closure is just so refreshing, the issue feels like it’s truly resolved. And of course, my curiosity has been assuaged. Thing is, even when the rage and depression and sadness fade, the need to know remains. And now I know 🙂

Pieces Of Unsolicited Advice PART V

The way that this post is long overdue is just so sad.. But it’s here, fianlly. My Views may or may not have changed since I wrote this (ages ago)

 

# 101 In destroying opponents, before you do: turn them into fans, followers whatever (thank you George Orwell and 1984)

# 102 When lying, keep it simple and (if possible) involve no one.

#103 A secret stops being a secret once told to another. It then becomes an intimate detail that shouldn’t be shared.

#104 The moment you say something in an open space, where others can hear you, it becomes as private as public property.

#105 Does it work?

#106 Take me as I am or buzz off.

#107 Don’t pass up a chance to improve yourself

#108 Believe in yourself. Always.

#109 Take credit for your work

#110 Mostly, remuneration in monetary form trumps appreciation.

#111 Luxury is not deserved: you WORK for it.

#112 There are only two ways to get rich: you’re either born rich or you marry rich. There’s only one way to get wealthy: You WORK.

#113 “The rich live well. The wealthy sleep well”

#114 Inner beauty is worth working on. Outer beauty can be bought.

#115 When the actions say one thing and the eyes another: believe the eyes

Life Goes On

Me? I’m realistic and a dreamer, a lover at heart. A romantic who happens to live in this thing called the real world. In the real world, (some) people live: regardless of what happens. That’s why I find the idea that your life won’t go on if you lose someone close to you, to be quite silly.

Yo read correctly. Life will go on because that’s what happens: life goes on and you keep living. You’ll keep breathing, keep going to work (maybe after taking leave). The rent still needs to be paid, tests have to be written, you still need to pass. You’ll still need to brush your teeth, eat, shower, sleep. All because life goes on.

If you lose someone you love, you’ll live. If you don’t off yourself first, but you’ll still need to live long enough to decide and implement your suicide plan. You’ll live, possibly with a gaping hole where your heart used to be. You’ll eat, even if it’s off of a paper plate because you can’t bear to eat off of the glass one that you shared before. You’ll shower, even if your shower feels too spacious because you’re alone. You’ll sleep, even if your bed feels colder because there’s a body missing. You’ll live, even if your life feels empty because they’re gone. you’ll live because life goes on.

Life goes on because that’s just how the story goes. Losing someone special to you doesn’t make life stop. You’ll live. I’m not saying that it will be pleasant or smooth. I’m not saying that you won’t be sad for a period of time or that you won’t die inside. I’m just saying that you’ll live because life goes on.

Of Love And Loss Thereof

I was on Facebook the other day, skimming through updates and stuff when something caught my eye. This something was a status along the lines of  ”you know you were never right for someone when..” and this is followed by an invitation to complete the sentence. So I did.

I also added my 5c (I don’t have 2c coins but I do have a jar full of 5c coins). First things first: how I completed the sentence. I said that you reach said realisation when that person is a part of your past and not your present. Second things second (I’ve never read or heard that before, to my conscious knowledge): I think that it’s not right of one to say that they were never right for someone or vice versa.

I mean, sure, it sound sweet or cool to say that when you’re in a new relationship and happier than you’ve ever been or when you’re depressed and engaged in biased retrospection. However, regardless of what kind of relationship you were in (yes, I said it), it seems to be contradictory to say such. Why?  Because at some point, you were right for that person or they were for you, otherwise you would never have been together in the first place. At some point, you were right for each other: you were together, happy and shared things with each other. It would be rather disrespectful to that love (or affection or whatever feeling) to say that you were never right for someone. that statement seems, to me, to negate the existence of all the time that you shared with that particular person. That person was right for you then and you should honour that. Or at least, don’t try to act like it wasn’t good at some point.

Love lost or dried up – or whatever you want to say happened to it – is still LOVE. And love deserves to be cherished and celebrated. Even if someone hurts you, they give you something. You learn something. Instead of speaking of that someone in a disparaging manner, why not celebrate that you’re wiser? That you experienced love? That you were happy? And something you should learn (and celebrate in some cases) is that some things just aren’t made to last.

Entailment

In Semantics, you learn about this thing called -drumroll- “Entailment”. If sentence B is true when sentence A is true Then sentence A entails sentence B. This reminds me of high school programming: the “If… Then” statement. Now to rephrase that: Sentence B is true when Sentence A is true so A entails B. Yes? OK Then. That’s cool for Semantics but why do so many people adopt what I call “The Attitude of Entailment” when it comes to love?

The thing about the “The Attitude of Entailment (which shall, from here on in, be referred to as “attitude”), is that it can only be explained by using examples from failed relationships (or attempts). It can be seen in statements such as ” But I love him, but I care about her, but there were signs”. Do you see where I’m going with this? Yes? No? I’m going there anyway. People tend to think that THEIR feelings ENTAIL the other person’s feelings. Just because you care, it doesn’t mean that the other person does.

The problem here is that “think” part. When you don’t know, you “think”. When you’re not sure, you “think”. So, people need to start knowing. And to move from thinking to knowing, you have to find out. And to find out, you have ask. Or be told. Whichever comes first.

I do, however, concede that this attitude is often based on an assumption. That assumption in turn is based on an inference. That inference is based on the interpretation (or misinterpretation) of the other person’s actions. Don’t you just love chains? So you “think” something because of this assumption, right? Wouldn’t it then better to “think” that something because your someone said it to you? Then you “know” it. Thing is, when your someone says it, and you find yourself saying “but I love him” you can expand that to “I didn’t think he loved me because I loved him. I know because he told me”. That’s logical, yes?

We need to learn that our feelings don’t entail other people’s feelings, that we can’t think for other people. Let them be, decide and let you know. Oh and I know that actions say something but nothing says “I care” quite as well as “I care”